Thor

        Even though Gina and I were ditched for the most recent Marvel movie, Thor, I still wanted to get the group together and give our thoughts. However, I was having trouble pinpointing what exactly made me under whelmed with the film. I didn’t hate it (and I wasn’t as excited to see Thor as I was for Iron Man, Dark Knight, or even the upcoming Captain America and Green Lantern), but I thought it would get me going more than it actually did.
        When discussing it with my colleagues, Chad and my brother in law kept saying how awesome it was.

Chad: That’s cause it was really awesome!

        I just couldn’t get myself that enthused. All I could come up with was how much it reminded me of Superman 2. Thor was so tough, yet half the movie he didn’t have his powers and was taken down by stun guns, sedatives, and probably terrible one liners as well. Now while I love a great movie, I am able to turn my brain off and indulge in mindless action and effects. But I still want something more that to be teased with what felt like a preface for The Avengers movie in 2012.
        So, to get inspired and brainstorm, I started browsing some of my favorite review sites; Listening to the idiots on You Tube, reading real person reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and Flixster, and of course Roger Ebert. He hit it spot on and that’s when it all hit me. I found myself agreeing with everything and finally seeing why Thor wasn’t like the Iron Man, Spiderman, or Hulk (the Edward Norton version, obviously) movies.
        So instead of our standard review, I invite you to see why Ebert is the top movie critic and read his review of Thor. It couldn’t be said any better.

        Oh, and I give Thor a 5 of 10 stars mainly because the post production 3D was decent (I know I’m always ragging about it), Gina gives Thor a 6.5 of 10 stars, and Chad probably gives Thor a 4.5 of 5 beers. You probably need to drink that many to give it a review that high. Go ahead and disagree now Chad!

Beastly

First Twilight ruins vampires, then Red Riding Hood ruins a classic, and now Beastly tries to ruin another great aspect of American literature? What the hell is going on with movies these days? Can anyone come up with his or her own great story without remaking an old movie, book, or poem or dragging on a movie with multiple mediocre sequels? However, we will still give Beastly its fair shot.

Everyone knows this story. Not only was it a Disney movie, but there was a show in the 80’s starring Linda Hamilton (or Sarah Connor). Guy is an asshole, crazy woman turns him ugly, only true love will “cure” guy. It has probably inspired many more movies than you realize because of the basic human nature psychological study. The twist for this is Vanessa Hudgens, Mary-Kate Olsen, and the icing on the cake… NPH himself! (Neil Patrick Harris? Doogie Howser? In case you didn’t know.)

Kevin: NPH + Blind + Tudor = FUNNY

Gina: The banter with NPH was great. It really picked up the movie.

Kevin: It was too bad that everyone kept turning down the lead role. It would have been great to see the dialogue between NPH and Zac Efron, or NPH berating Rob Pattinson. Two hopefuls who said no… No idea why. ::sarcasm::

Gina: It wasn’t that bad.

There were a number of actors that denied the various roles in Beastly. So the lead went to Alex Pettyfer. “Who?” you ask. Oh sorry… I am Number Four. And boy did he branch out and show off his versatility for these roles! In one he was a High School kid who feels degraded because he is different, in the other, he is a High School kid who feels belittled because

Paul

Paul had the best opportunity to be the most horrific comedy of the year. Come on, Seth Rogen as a rude and vulgar alien prankster on the run from the Feds? For sure you have to be thinking this was one for the trash pile. However, you also have the comedy genius of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Is that enough to bring it above .500? Yes.

Pegg and Frost were cast and delivered their stellar performances but without their usual British humor (which is what makes them so funny) and somehow as the writers they worked it more towards the Seth Rogen style and came out as winners once again.

Kevin: This is the perfect role for Rogen because his voice doesn’t annoy you so much when it’s not coming from his face.

Chad: The Pegg and Frost comedy wasn’t really in the movie, but they were still funny.

Gina: I like when Paul was asking if the Pegg and Frost characters were gay, almost charades like.

There were also as many cameo’s in the movie as there were original jokes. All with just enough screen time to be funny with out wearing out their welcome. Bill Hader, Jane Lynch, David Koechner, Jeffery Tambor, Jason Bateman, Sigourney Weaver, Kristin Wiig… Just to name a few.

With what this could have been, we were pleasantly surprised with what we were given.

Chad: I got a Regal Rewards card…

Gina: Finally!

Kevin: Way to jump into 2007.

Chad: It took forever, like five weeks to get to me. I ordered it online.

Gina: Why didn’t you just get it at the theatre?

Kevin: That’s what I did. You get it right then and there.

Chad: But is yours all professional looking like this?

Kevin: Like this?

Chad: Damn it!

Chad: 3 of 5 beers

Gina: 6.5 of 10 stars

Kevin: 6.3 of 10 stars

Combined Rating: 6.27 of 10 stars

Battle: Los Angeles

There was a lot of curiosity with this movie due to the District 9/Cloverfield-esqe trailers. However, they were showing quite a lot of the “enemy” so the question to ask was whether there was anything left as a surprise when you would go to see it.

Battle: Los Angeles is pretty straightforward; a cut and dry shoot them before they shoot you gunner flick. It is basically the opposite plot of District 9, instead of landing on earth as an accident they are coming to inhabit earth, minus the political subtleties. Throw in the gimmicky (now-a-days) shaky cam, and you have the makings of a potential blockbuster shoot-em-up.

The problem is that a lot of the movies front running highlights are not new, and have actually been seen in other movies fairly recently. A few years ago the look and style seen in Battle: LA would have been fresh and new, but now it came across fairly flat. The dialogue was non-existent, and the acting was pretty bad considering the most of the requirement involved screaming the lines.

There were some pros as well, though. If you like first person shooter games, then this movie will be like playing a video game the entire time. There was lots of action… lots of action! And a couple suspenseful “in the line of fire” battle scenes. Some people will really like it.

Chad: The only thing that could have made it better would have been Will Smith punching an alien in the face… oh, and a different leading woman. Anna Lucia shoulda never left the island.

No Strings Attached

Natalie Portman has been doing a lot of movies lately, and with quite a range in variety. The raw, dark indie comedy Hesher with Joe Gordon-Levitt (yeah, he likes to go by Joe), Black Swan where she imagines making out with Milla Kunis, and soon coming out in Thor and Your Highness. Even more unique from those is the romantic comedy No Strings Attached where she ACTUALLY makes out with Ashton Kutcher.

Ashton Kutcher has not been in much lately, and nothing very far out of his comfort zone. Valentines Day with so many big name actors that it ruined the whole thing, and Killers with movie killer Katherine Heigl, and in that same comfort zone, No Strings Attached. So why pair the award-winning actress with the goofball from Dude, Where’s My Car?

Chad: Who cares, Natalie Portman is hot! That’s the only reason I wanted to see it.

Gina: You got to see Ashton’s bare ass!

Kevin: OK… Looks like I’m taking this review solo!

This movie is make or break for Portman much more than Kutcher. If it fails, Kutcher could care less. He still gets paid and it can’t be any worse than any other roles he has done, however, it reflects badly on Portman who is coming off her ground breaking performance in Black Swan. If it does well, Kutcher could care less. He still gets paid and it can’t be worse than any other roles he has done, however, it is one more genre that Portman can notch in her belt.

Fortunately, it wasn’t bad. It was pretty funny for the most part and showed a lighter, humorous side for Natalie, kind of on the lines of her SNL Digital Short “Natalie Raps” (look it up if you haven’t seen it, very good). Obviously no one is winning any awards, not even Kevin Kline for playing Kutcher’s immoral dad, or Cary Elwes as the head doctor at Portman’s hospital. But it looked like everyone had fun, and that comes out in every ones performance.

The Green Hornet

Fun fact: The original casting for the poor mans Batman (that’s the Green Hornet by the way) was Nick Cage. Thank god that was changed! He has a large repertoire of fine films, but lately everything he has done, save Kick Ass, has been terrible. The problem was the cast change was to writer, producer, and almost director, Seth Rogen.

Chad: The problem with Seth Rogen is that he tries to bring the bromance shit to every movie!

Kevin: And his voice gets annoying. He did all right though, and I’m glad he got to play a superhero cause he has wanted to be one for a long time.

Chad: Too bad he had to write his own movie to do it.

The only thing you really need from a movie like this is entertainment. It’s not going to win any awards or even gain a record attendance or anything on those lines. If people aren’t bored throughout the entire thing, it’s a win.

Like so many films of this nature, however, it had its period of repetitive, boring content. About fifteen minutes could have been removed and it wouldn’t have bothered anyone. It wasn’t really the drab characters or the actors portrayals necessarily, just the content. The actors actually did a decent job; again, you don’t need too much. Though, Cameron Diaz did a fine job of making her part feel obsolete, a great James Franco cameo made up for it!

Chad: The guy from Inglourious Basterds (Christoph Waltz) was a good bad guy.

Gina: His accent was really bad, though.

Kevin: Uh… I think that is his real accent.

Gina: Are you sure?

True Grit

It is always interesting how movie etiquette differs between people and how it is perceived though different generations. Our viewing of True Grit was a perfect experiment in movie viewing psychology… and the movie was pretty interesting too. Did the most recent western “masterpiece” live up to the surrounding hype?

First off, the average age in the theatre was 75, which isn’t a problem as much as it was interesting to see the difference between this afternoon show time and seeing something like Transformers at a midnight showing. Also, with the entire two rows behind us completely open, we still had one guy come in and sit one seat away from us in the same row! Really?!?

Chad: Yeah, I made sure to comment on it loud enough for him to hear it.

Kevin: Didn’t faze him though.

Anyway, True Grit was a good western film with real heart and soul put into its creation. Which is beneficial because a poorly made western really sucks. The dialogue alone carried you thoroughly through the entire run time without a real lull at all.

Kevin: The back and forth between Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon was great.

Chad: Yeah… Jeff Bridges will always be The Dude in anything he’s in, though. It always comes out.

Kevin: That’s a good thing.

Chad: And you can’t go wrong with a main character that has an eye patch!

TRON: Legacy

Everyone knows how classically terrible (in the best way possible) the original Tron movie was, so kudos to Tron: Legacy for not referencing its cult classic predecessor too much when promoting the release. It was ridiculously hard to find a copy of the original to re-watch; there was no Blu Ray or special edition DVD release even right before Christmas. Really though, how embarrassing is it that the movie’s video game has grossed more money since their release.

Anyway, 28 years of nerdly anticipation has finally come to realization and this time around in 3D and DBOX, the newest movie gimmick. This completing a trio of movies we’ve seen in DBOX, it is easily the best so far.

Chad: The light flyers, yes there are flying versions of the light bikes, is easily the best DBOX scene ever.

Kevin: The light bikes were great too. And thank you for filming in 3D, enough with the post-production crap!

Chad: You could tell it was really good 3D but it was so dark that it was lost most of the time.

Kevin: Yeah, you didn’t get a lot of the depth. But when it was bright it was great.

Now I know there will be a lot of people criticizing the plot line, but you really don’t need much to put together what is important to the movie as a whole. What everyone really wants from Legacy is crazy awesome effects, revamped game sequences, and a graphically updated computer world. Done. You get all of it. Do we really care why Kevin Flynn disappeared, or why Clu (his computer world created clone) wants to invade the real world? Yes, but we don’t need forty-five minutes of it…

Hereafter

Clint Eastwood’s latest was released with not much publicity and trailer’s that didn’t really give a lot away or do anything to suck you in. Think Unbreakable but more boring. However, if you did pay attention, the plot was quite intriguing, had much to work with, and with the style that Eastwood can put through in his cinematic vision, had potential to be pretty moving.

Hereafter was essentially a character film, revolving around the story of an ex-psychic troubled by his ability cursing him into a life with out emotion of the unknown. Matt Damon falls into his role nicely and solidly performs to the standards of what is expected from Eastwood.

Gina: You could really feel Matt Damon’s draw into his character, which is what made it such a character chronicle.

Kevin: Even with the plot following three major stories, the Damon story draws you in the most.

Gina: The French woman was intriguing.

Kevin: She did have a subtle but true charisma.

And this isn’t to take anything away from the other third of the storyline, which was interesting in it’s own. It’s just that you knew the psychic was who would connect everything in the end somehow.

Eastwood has a peculiar way of having everyone of his films having the same dramatic feeling while still being completely different; which is much more skillful than you might

New To DVD: The Last Airbender

We’re not going to spend too much time on this. The story was mediocre, especially since the material is already there. The acting was even worse, and that IS giving the benefit of the doubt to the fact that it was a cast of predominantly first timers. The effects were underwhelming, and the 3D (like we have said time and time again regarding post production 3D) was lack luster to non-existent. You’re not missing much with the subtraction of the 3D for the Blu-Ray release.

There was more than enough opportunity to make this an epic film. When watching the trailers, it was mind boggling how something that had what looked like such cool effects had been getting such bad reviews; right now I think it still is at 7% on Rotten Tomatoes. But it deserves it. It was that bad.

It is supposed to have four parts in the series. Right now, if it even gets the funding for a sequel, everyone is looking to strip M. Night Shyamalan of his directorial duties. NO! That’s like firing the coach of a 0-10 football team in the middle of the season. A change of management is not going to miraculously make you win out the season; it just creates a fail-fail opportunity for the next man in charge.

Let the captain go down with the ship! He has a vision, and supposedly two sequel screenplays written for what he says are much darker story lines. Let it play out with him at the helm. That is the only thing that can salvage what this first movie has created.

These are kind of old but we’ll throw them up with our quick reviews anyway; Since we are your primary source for a true, realistic review on the most recent movies. Now stick with it, because you might be thinking we’re crazy for some of these reviews, but rest assured you will eventually agree!

First, Piranha 3D. Yes, we gave it 8 of 10 stars… Believe it! It was goofy, it was gory, it had a lot of nudity, it had man-eating fish dismembering scantily clad spring breakers. And you know what? It compiled all of these elements to create a great horror / comedy. Then to top it off, it was in 3D!

Chad: 3D boobies! Classic!

Kevin: Was the 3D great? No. But I’ve seen much worse.

Next we have Scott Pilgrim VS. The World. This erupted onto the screen becoming a chaotic, hallucinogenic, plethoric mess of early nineties styled video game graphics-converted-to-movie effects, and for some reason it worked in it’s favor. This could have gone either way, but the geniuses directing it found a way to get Michael Cera just far enough out of his (so far) stereotyped character to utilize what he does bring to the screen AND what he could bring to the screen.

There were a few things that were done that made this not a flop… One, it didn’t fall into the trend of post production 3D in an embossing attempt to boost effects. Two, they took a

Goodbye to At The Movies

This weekend was the final episode of At The Movies, the show that brought movie reviewing to the mainstream. Thirty-five years ago, Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert started their empire originally titled Siskel & Ebert and The Movies; a public television show where they discussed and argued their opinions on the movies they see. And even through the passing of Gene and the illness of Roger the show continued on with various permanent and guest critics… Until now.

I have many fond movie memories; watching Top Gun at an age where I didn’t get all the sexual innuendos, playing my home recording of Back To The Future and rewinding it when it was finished to watch it again, and going to my first R-rated movie in the theatre with my dad at age twelve (it was Terminator 2). But none compare to sitting down every Saturday evening from the age of ten and watching Siskel & Ebert yell and argue about the most recent films.

Gene and Roger were the perfect duo of movie critics. They were consistent yet could always surprise you. Their genuine love for movies was something that I related to immediately and ultimately (and subconsciously) inspired me to start this blog. After every review I write, I instantly go to Roger Ebert’s website to see his opinions. Before I started Two Guys And A Girl Review Movies, I would refer to Siskel & Ebert to decide whether or not I would pay to see a movie in the theatre.

Through all of the trials and tribulations the show has seen it has continued to push forward. With the passing of Gene Siskel, Roger continued with the help of Richard Roeper (after a stint of guest critics). And in true spirit of the show, when Roger became ill, Richard continued the critiques (again with a period of guest critics). Then there was the disappointing “new direction” of the show when Richard left and was replaced with Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz. Thankfully the show finished in its traditional fashion with Michael Phillips and A.O. Scott, who frequently had appeared on the show as guest critics.

There is no other show that I have watched consistently for as long as the twenty years that I have watched At The Movies and I will truly miss it. How else can I finish this than by giving it “Two Thumbs Up”!

Step Up 3D

Reason #63 people hate the Regal theatres in our area: With two locations, only one that can screen 3D movies and on only two theatres in that location, they make the conscious decision to play Step Up 3D (the first movie since Avatar to be filmed entirely in 3D) in the non 3D location. REALLY?!?

The third installment (obviously) of the franchise, like the previous two, did not focus on getting quality acting and didn’t care that that wasn’t in their requirements. They also did not seem to care much about writing a story… That would just insult our intelligence and make us seem ignorant for wanting more than just awesome dance scenes to escape from reality into. Success!

Kevin: Two of the three main guys had less on screen acting charisma than either of my cats.

Gina: The acting was pretty bad…

Kevin: Pretty bad? It was terrible!

Gina: But I know the actors were there for their dancing rather than acting ability.

You have to know that when purchasing your tickets to this film, you are actually signing a waiver that says you are fully aware that you want to see dancing on screen and not a thought out plotline. It did have a story of sorts that explained why these characters were in New York, why they were in a dance competition, and why there was some sort of rivalry between some people. It also tried (and failed) to include a love story subplot.

Inception

One summer can produce more crappy movies than one should have to endure. One month can show a handful of visually (not mentally) stimulating brain candy. One week can release a couple above average films. And one day can unveil pure perfection in terms of big screen media. That day was the day the hype was answered and Inception was released.

All have seen the previews and know the story line, at least what is needed to be intrigued. Dreams that can be manipulated by the few who have been trained in manipulating others dreams. How complicated can it get? Apparently writing a screenplay focused on this subject can take on a life in itself. Especially coming from the mind of Christopher Nolan of Memento fame. It’s hard not to fall straight into the world of a Nolan film and forget where or how you got there, which was just deduced, is how he came up with the premise for Inception!

The caliber of acting can be perceived by the quality of actors joined together. DiCapprio, Joe Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Ken Wantanabe… They all step up and bring together a chemistry all directors should dream for. Without it, this could have fallen flat. I didn’t think there would be a film this soon that would top the mind f*** or emotional power that Shutter Island gave us, but here it is.

Eclipse

Well, we didn’t get enough members in our Facebook group to force Chad to see this third installment of the Twilight series (which has now been morphed from a quadrilogy to a quintrilogy… and I will absolutely get to that in a moment), so it is just Gina and I for your reviewing pleasure.

Both of us have read the book series, and I was especially excited with this part of the story because it actually had some action. Go figure… action in a story that focuses on vampires and werewolves?

Kevin: I will say right now that this will be the best movie of this series… Even with the ridiculous addition of a fifth movie that divides the fourth book into two parts. I really hate that they are going to be greedy with this series!

Gina: It’s completely unnecessary. It is only to drag it on and make as much money as they can while they can, and it might ruin the fourth book.

Kevin: They’re trying to make up for how bad New Moon was… Yes, it was horrible! And I truly feel for anyone who didn’t read the book and sat through that garbage!

In contrast to New Moon’s divergence from the book, Eclipse followed pretty accurately (at least as much as a movie can). Something is always going to be omitted but they scrapped the right scenes. Take a hint director of Half Blood Prince.

The A-Team

Just a quick review, better late than never. All three of us saw this together and it was awesome! Lot’s of action, just enough plot without discombobulating the audience, tense action scenes, comedic interludes, (did I mention action?) and just an all around fun and exciting movie. The cast was perfect – Liam Neeson is always great, Bradley Cooper, the guy from District 9 (I always forget his name, and frankly I’ll mis-spell it too), and surprisingly Quinton “Rampage Jackson was good!

Was it cheesy? Yes. Was it plausible? No. But that is how the television series was and in that respect, it did exactly what it was supposed to do. Along the lines of Speed Racer, which was simple, flat, an looked like someone threw up skittles on the film strip, though mimicked the cartoon perfectly. Well worth the watch, and without going to the panel I will just give it a solid 8 of 10 stars.

Toy Story 3

Part three of the Pixar/Disney collaboration phenomenon is probably exactly what you would expect, not as good as the first two but good enough to enjoy while the kids can be visually absorbed in anything so you can relax. And yes, that is what it is.

Bringing Buzz Lightyear and Woody back together to help the other toys come to the realization that their life with Andy may be coming to an end now that he is going to college. Of course there are some misinterpretations and confusion as to what their fate will actually be, but we’re not going to go into the plot because it’s a kids movie. It has just enough to keep the adults interested and that’s good enough.

Gina: It didn’t nearly compare to the first two.

Kevin: That’s expected.

Gina: It is good for the kids.

Kevin: As it should be.

Gina: And it concluded nicely.

Kevin: I was really hoping for the Titanic style ending when they were stuck drifting toward the incinerator and gave up the struggle, held hands, and accepted their end.

Gina: HORRIBLE! It’s a kid’s movie!

Kevin: I’m just saying it would have been a heart wrenching, tear jerking conclusion to the trilogy.

Get Him To The Greek

We’re not going to waste too much time on this spin off of a great movie (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) because honestly Get Him To The Greek was not nearly what it could have been. With a background of Russel Brand’s character, Aldous Snow, already established to a point, the dreary character development was overdone. We were brought into Snow’s life a bit more, but was it necessary for this movie with the direction I assume they were trying to go?

While Get Him To The Greek did deliver a fair amount of chuckles, it did not deliver the movie that the trailers depicted it to be. We are all fans of Russel Brand and were quite excited for this film; especially knowing Aldous Snow was getting his own feature length film. Too bad it was the Snow twelve years past his prime… that really was the plot of the film, a washed up Snow who just put out an album called African Child (just as bad in the movie as it sounds here, but in a good way).

The main point to think about is how often do spin-offs of television shows work? Yeah, that’s probably why you don’t see the same thing on the big screen, and probably why this shouldn’t have been attempted.

Gina: I wish Aldous Snow had stayed in Sarah Marshall.

The Karate Kid

Kid moves to China, finds an enemy after showing interest in a girl, gets beat up, and realizes facing his enemy is the only way to earn respect. That’s all you really need to know if you have been under a rock and never seen the original. Though it is another Karate Kid movie, not a remake.

Geared towards a younger audience than the Ralph Macchio / Pat Morita version, micro Will, Jaden Smith (and I call him that because it was astonishingly like watching mini-me on the screen; acting, manurisms, etc) does a good job in his role as Dre Parker from Detroit. His timing is good, he’s charismatic on screen, and it’s easy to tell that he will follow in his parents’ footsteps for quite awhile.

Kevin: I found it hilarious that Jaden crying on screen was so much more believable than Jackie Chan.

Gina: OK?!?

Pat Morita was sorely missed as the mentor, but Jackie Chan as Mr. Han was a better fill in than anyone else out there at the moment, and it was good to see Chan on the screen again. His martial arts stunts are always stunning. The rest of the cast was decent as well but the only other stand out was the “bad kid”, Cheng, and not for his acting but for his overall mean persona. He looked like a prick!

Gina: I wanted to slap that kid for being such an asshole, but I guess that was the point.

Now, other than the fighting scenes, there was a real lull throughout the film. You really feel the two and a half hour running time, and that is never a good thing.

Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time

The first thing you have to take into consideration before seeing Prince Of Persia is the history of movie adaptations of video games… quite frankly they suck! Do I even have to mention Street Fighter, Super Mario Bros, or the best of the worst Double Dragon?

Now with that we can get to the movie. The Sands Of Time follows a child street rat, Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal), that is adopted by the King for showing an act of bravery and in turn becomes a prince. I’m thinking Aladdin? However his brothers hold a little resentment towards him for not being part of the bloodline. When Persia attacks a peaceful city after word of an arms dealing to Persia’s enemy, Dastan comes across a mystical dagger unbeknownst to its true powers. He then teams up with the city’s Princess to help uncover the true nature of Persia’s attack.

Packed with action there were few slow moments, which worked in its favor because those were definitely the low points of the film. It was said that Gyllenhaal did the majority of his stunts, and while watching, it was quite impressive to know with the amount of Parkour scenes.

Gina: It was entertaining. I don’t understand why it is getting such a bad rap. There was enough action without being too graphic for kids. Coming from Disney it was better than Alice In Wonderland.

Kevin: Well that’s not saying much!