Alice In Wonderland

We have a guest reviewer for Tim Burton’s interpretation of Lewis Carrol’s classic. Matt is with us (but don’t worry, he and Chad are pretty much the same) because Chad was absent for our viewing. Well, actually he got ditched. You see, Gina has this habit of ditching people to see a movie when SHE KNOWS they have been waiting to see it! I got ditched for Max Payne, Chad got ditched for Harry Potter 6, and we tried to ditch her once but that just give her more fuel for the fire of revenge.

To start, this wildly vivid Burton-ised film is inspired by, not based on the book. So that gives a little insight as to why it was done the way it was done. However, being created from the mind of Tim Burton, do we really need reasoning? But just putting it out there that it does not following the book any more than the Disney cartoon did; in fact, probably less so.

Kevin: I read the book before the movie and I am boggled as to how this became such a popular children’s story, it pretty disturbing! The first 15 minutes of the movie followed it pretty well in theory, and then it just went haywire from there.

This was a very dark depiction, both visually and in mood, but it worked being something different from past views. It is transformed into a creepy (almost horrific) land, and if you think about it, with all the weird characters that tormented Alice in the book, it should be! Being very colorful and out there, you’re definitely getting what you would expect from a Burton movie. However, even with the creative effects and 3D, the tempo became unnervingly slow paced. It wouldn’t be a film you would want to bring the kids to because it just won’t hold their attention. Which is a downfall being that it was such a popular Disney movie.

Some of this can be attributed to the actors.

She's Out Of My League

It was being presented to us as the funniest movie since The Hangover (which was GREAT!) and She’s Out Of My League lived up to that. No, it wasn’t funnier than The Hangover, but that would be tough to beat. This movie was flat out hilarious and, because we are having trouble pointing out specifics, that’s our review! Great movie, great story that held up throughout, and great characters. It also delivers the raunchy romantic comedy style without going too far; though it gets close, especially in a scene where Kirk (Jay Baruchel) gets help from his buddy to shave his man region. You won’t be disappointed.

Chad: The fat Napoleon Dynamite was awesome and I have officially demoted Kristen Bell from being my future wife for the 10 in the movie.

5! of 5 beers

Gina: I’m too busy sending Chad pointless texts right now so I can’t give any input at the moment.

7.75 of 10 stars

Kevin: The supporting cast was perfect; the friends, brother, Kirk’s ex-girlfriend and new boyfriend living in his own house… And the 10’s best friend was the best bitchy cynical voice over your shoulder.

9 of 10 stars

Combined rating give us 8.9 of 10 stars, but I’m going to round it up to 9 of 10 stars because Gina can be a harsh judge.

New On DVD: 2012

So we’re going to keep it short and sweet here. 2012 gives us over the top CGI and nothing related to the actual Mayan calendar “predictions” of the end of the world. Yes there was a plenty of action scenes, and keeps you entertained through out the films running time (that was probably too long), however, there was no substance. Pretty much everything that happens was shown in the original trailers.

The highlight, and the main reason to see 2012, was Woody Harrelson as the crazy conspiracy theorist voicing his crazy thoughts over the airwaves to anyone that will listen. It was great to see him back on the big screen and, along with Zombieland and Kingpin, this is one of his greatest roles. The rest of the actors’… ehh.

Chad: Breakout role for the young Shawn Spencer from Psych.

Why do movies about the end of the world feel the need to saturate the entire screen with computer graphics of tsunamis, crumbling flaming architecture, and other catastrophic phenomenon’s?

Our combined rating? Go see The Day After Tomorrow instead, which is basically the same movie, and have fun looking for Kirsten Dunst as an extra.

The Crazies

Kevin: I’m kinda torn on this.

Chad: It was AWESOME!

Kevin: Well yeah it was awesome… I just didn’t know what to make of it at first; not quite horror, but kind of suspense thriller.

Chad: Yeah, more like a survival movie.

Kevin: It was good that they went that direction with it. It was not the norm. It could have fallen into the typical cliché of the genre, but instead they had their own thing going.

Chad: Speaking of cliché… How bout that guy shooting the dead crazy out of nowhere. It’s about time someone just blew the head off instead of just looking at them to see if they were dead or not and giving them a chance to attack again. Not that he was all there himself, but hey…

But what happened to the third hunting buddy, he just went walking away there at the truck stop.

Kevin: Oh yeah… Well I guess he got nuked!

Cop Out

Because of her hatred for Tracy Morgan, Gina did not join Chad and I for this. I know, I know… It’s hard to believe since he is pretty hilarious.

Chad: Agreed. But he wasn’t as funny as I thought he’d be in this.

Kevin: At least he’s not nearly as annoying as Chris Tucker.

Directed by Kevin Smith (yes, the Kevin Smith that has brought us such comedy classics as Clerks, Mallrats, Dogma; and I could probably list all of his movies), follows the line of previous cop comedies as Bad Boys and Rush Hour, and sports a musical background like that of Beverly Hills Cop. While not as much action as Bad Boys and missing the high pitched and barely audible voices of Rush Hour, Cop Out does pair Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan who combine for quite the juxtaposed duo.

Chad: I think they were terrible together.

Kevin: Nah… they did all right.

Chad: OK... But the Mexican guy from Half Baked was not believable as the gangster AT ALL!

It’s the typical plot you would expect. Jimmy Monroe (Willis) and Paul Hodges (Morgan) create chaos trying to capture the bad guy, and though meaning well, cause a huge mess for the police force and get suspended without pay. This causes Monroe to resort to selling his rare baseball card to pay for his daughters wedding. The card gets stolen, ironically, by a baseball obsessed drug runner who orchestrated the bad guys our duo were originally after. And our comedy caper begins!

Shutter Island

We’re going to get right into it this time… The three of us, in a conversation regarding Shutter Island before it was released, predicted the main climactic twist, which lead to predicting a lot of what played out throughout the film. But it didn’t matter; it was engaging nonetheless.

There was not really anything Scorsese did wrong in his most recent endeavor based on the novel by Dennis Lehane. He really made this a masterpiece and will at the least get a Best Director nomination; and very probably take the win. From the opening scenes it was apparent this would become a treasure of cinematic brilliance likened to some of the Alfred Hitchcock classics. You really feel like you’re in a 1950’s movie theatre. The score itself made the movie, simplistic and powerful, and immersed the theatre in the dark, edgy, psychological scheme. In fact, we tried hard and couldn’t really find anything to complain about.

Gina: I could have done without the male wang.

Chad: I guess it added to the shock factor, but that is like an automatic half a star off.

Camera work really acted as a dimensional supporting role considering the mysterious feeling the island housed mental institution portrayed. The cinematography was stunning, and even though it was one of the most disturbingly creepy places I’ve seen, the landscape was beautiful to take in.

Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Well first off, I just want to say what a wonderful movie experience we had for this. We had the 50 year old smoker trapped in a 16 year olds body hacking out a lung through the entire show to the left of us, the drunk guy behind us burping at the most inopportune times (as if there is a right time to burp in a movie), and the guy a couple of rows in front of us pulling out his cell phone to text every ten minutes. NICE.

Anyhow, The Lightning Thief is the first installment (of probably many considering the popularity of Harry Potter) of the Percy Jackson and The Olympians book series written by Rick Riordan. Now, all three of us made the point to read the book before we saw the film and were treated to a godlike copy of the Harry Potter books. So we are going to do our best to review the movie without being biased.

Kevin: What the hell did they do?!? They butchered the story.

Chad: It’s so frustrating how much was changed from the book. It was made by the director of Harry Potter, but the Marauders Map… Really? Way to steal ideas!

Gina: Right off the bat within the first minute you could see everything was changed. So disappointing.

Well, we tried.

The Lovely Bones

It’s just Gina and I on this one. Chad was MIA, though even if he had been with us I don’t think it would have benefited this review.

Peter Jackson’s most recent movie as a director is quite a bit of a change from his known projects. Lord of the Rings, King Kong, District 9, and coming soon The Hobbit are all Jackson projects with rather similar epic fantasy storylines. I’ll admit, I was fairly shocked that The Lovely Bones (based on the novel by Alice Sebold which neither of us has read) was a Jackson movie; just not his typical endeavor.

Though it is Rachel Weisz and Susan Sarandon with the Oscar on their shelves, it is Stanley Tucci who is well more deserving of the honor as the extremely odd, creepy, and sinister George Harvey. Harvey, a middle aged man who lives alone, builds dollhouses, likes to sit in dark areas, and ultimately decides to murder, keeps you completely on edge and uncomfortable every second he is on screen. Now don’t worry, I’m not giving anything away. This isn’t a mystery movie as to who the killer is, rather a journey of Susie Salmon’s soul as she makes her way to heaven while looking over her family and killer.

The Book Of Eli

OK… I know you’re thinking “What’s with all these action, adventure, dude movies?!?” Well it is TWO guys and A girl. Gina gets kind of overruled sometimes. Anyway, Book Of Eli, our newest movie, is about this guy named Eli (Denzel Washington) and his book. If you have guessed from the previews what the book he carries is, then you’re probably right. If you have no idea after seeing the previews what the book is, you probably should.

In a post-apocalyptic world caused by what everyone refers to as “The Big Flash”, Eli fights his way towards a safe place for the book guided by a higher power. He fights (pretty miraculously) only in self-defense against rouge gangs of thieves looking for water, food, and anything else they can steal from the weak. Traveling west, he wanders into a small town coincidentally headed by Carnegie (wonderfully played by Gary Oldman), a man with hopes set on finding a book that will help him rule the world in his eyes.

There was a lot of really nice things going with this movie from the start; the cinematography emphasizing the feeling of isolation and need for self reliance, the first fight scene silhouetted against a late afternoon sky, and an engaging build up. In fact visually this movie is “awe inspiring”, as the trailer quotes. The story then starts to take a downhill run.

New On DVD: Gamer

Weapons, war, violence, sex, video games, more violence, Society, revenge, Slayers, death-row inmates, orange haired woman controlled by a fat man, more violence, Ludacris, Peter Petrelli, King Leonidas, Dexter, and a tantalizingly great post-modern high concept incomprehensible clichéd mess of a film. In other words… SEE IT!

…nuff said