These are kind of old but we’ll throw them up with our quick reviews anyway; Since we are your primary source for a true, realistic review on the most recent movies. Now stick with it, because you might be thinking we’re crazy for some of these reviews, but rest assured you will eventually agree!

First, Piranha 3D. Yes, we gave it 8 of 10 stars… Believe it! It was goofy, it was gory, it had a lot of nudity, it had man-eating fish dismembering scantily clad spring breakers. And you know what? It compiled all of these elements to create a great horror / comedy. Then to top it off, it was in 3D!

Chad: 3D boobies! Classic!

Kevin: Was the 3D great? No. But I’ve seen much worse.

Next we have Scott Pilgrim VS. The World. This erupted onto the screen becoming a chaotic, hallucinogenic, plethoric mess of early nineties styled video game graphics-converted-to-movie effects, and for some reason it worked in it’s favor. This could have gone either way, but the geniuses directing it found a way to get Michael Cera just far enough out of his (so far) stereotyped character to utilize what he does bring to the screen AND what he could bring to the screen.

There were a few things that were done that made this not a flop… One, it didn’t fall into the trend of post production 3D in an embossing attempt to boost effects. Two, they took a

Goodbye to At The Movies

This weekend was the final episode of At The Movies, the show that brought movie reviewing to the mainstream. Thirty-five years ago, Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert started their empire originally titled Siskel & Ebert and The Movies; a public television show where they discussed and argued their opinions on the movies they see. And even through the passing of Gene and the illness of Roger the show continued on with various permanent and guest critics… Until now.

I have many fond movie memories; watching Top Gun at an age where I didn’t get all the sexual innuendos, playing my home recording of Back To The Future and rewinding it when it was finished to watch it again, and going to my first R-rated movie in the theatre with my dad at age twelve (it was Terminator 2). But none compare to sitting down every Saturday evening from the age of ten and watching Siskel & Ebert yell and argue about the most recent films.

Gene and Roger were the perfect duo of movie critics. They were consistent yet could always surprise you. Their genuine love for movies was something that I related to immediately and ultimately (and subconsciously) inspired me to start this blog. After every review I write, I instantly go to Roger Ebert’s website to see his opinions. Before I started Two Guys And A Girl Review Movies, I would refer to Siskel & Ebert to decide whether or not I would pay to see a movie in the theatre.

Through all of the trials and tribulations the show has seen it has continued to push forward. With the passing of Gene Siskel, Roger continued with the help of Richard Roeper (after a stint of guest critics). And in true spirit of the show, when Roger became ill, Richard continued the critiques (again with a period of guest critics). Then there was the disappointing “new direction” of the show when Richard left and was replaced with Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz. Thankfully the show finished in its traditional fashion with Michael Phillips and A.O. Scott, who frequently had appeared on the show as guest critics.

There is no other show that I have watched consistently for as long as the twenty years that I have watched At The Movies and I will truly miss it. How else can I finish this than by giving it “Two Thumbs Up”!

Step Up 3D

Reason #63 people hate the Regal theatres in our area: With two locations, only one that can screen 3D movies and on only two theatres in that location, they make the conscious decision to play Step Up 3D (the first movie since Avatar to be filmed entirely in 3D) in the non 3D location. REALLY?!?

The third installment (obviously) of the franchise, like the previous two, did not focus on getting quality acting and didn’t care that that wasn’t in their requirements. They also did not seem to care much about writing a story… That would just insult our intelligence and make us seem ignorant for wanting more than just awesome dance scenes to escape from reality into. Success!

Kevin: Two of the three main guys had less on screen acting charisma than either of my cats.

Gina: The acting was pretty bad…

Kevin: Pretty bad? It was terrible!

Gina: But I know the actors were there for their dancing rather than acting ability.

You have to know that when purchasing your tickets to this film, you are actually signing a waiver that says you are fully aware that you want to see dancing on screen and not a thought out plotline. It did have a story of sorts that explained why these characters were in New York, why they were in a dance competition, and why there was some sort of rivalry between some people. It also tried (and failed) to include a love story subplot.

Inception

One summer can produce more crappy movies than one should have to endure. One month can show a handful of visually (not mentally) stimulating brain candy. One week can release a couple above average films. And one day can unveil pure perfection in terms of big screen media. That day was the day the hype was answered and Inception was released.

All have seen the previews and know the story line, at least what is needed to be intrigued. Dreams that can be manipulated by the few who have been trained in manipulating others dreams. How complicated can it get? Apparently writing a screenplay focused on this subject can take on a life in itself. Especially coming from the mind of Christopher Nolan of Memento fame. It’s hard not to fall straight into the world of a Nolan film and forget where or how you got there, which was just deduced, is how he came up with the premise for Inception!

The caliber of acting can be perceived by the quality of actors joined together. DiCapprio, Joe Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Ken Wantanabe… They all step up and bring together a chemistry all directors should dream for. Without it, this could have fallen flat. I didn’t think there would be a film this soon that would top the mind f*** or emotional power that Shutter Island gave us, but here it is.

Eclipse

Well, we didn’t get enough members in our Facebook group to force Chad to see this third installment of the Twilight series (which has now been morphed from a quadrilogy to a quintrilogy… and I will absolutely get to that in a moment), so it is just Gina and I for your reviewing pleasure.

Both of us have read the book series, and I was especially excited with this part of the story because it actually had some action. Go figure… action in a story that focuses on vampires and werewolves?

Kevin: I will say right now that this will be the best movie of this series… Even with the ridiculous addition of a fifth movie that divides the fourth book into two parts. I really hate that they are going to be greedy with this series!

Gina: It’s completely unnecessary. It is only to drag it on and make as much money as they can while they can, and it might ruin the fourth book.

Kevin: They’re trying to make up for how bad New Moon was… Yes, it was horrible! And I truly feel for anyone who didn’t read the book and sat through that garbage!

In contrast to New Moon’s divergence from the book, Eclipse followed pretty accurately (at least as much as a movie can). Something is always going to be omitted but they scrapped the right scenes. Take a hint director of Half Blood Prince.

The A-Team

Just a quick review, better late than never. All three of us saw this together and it was awesome! Lot’s of action, just enough plot without discombobulating the audience, tense action scenes, comedic interludes, (did I mention action?) and just an all around fun and exciting movie. The cast was perfect – Liam Neeson is always great, Bradley Cooper, the guy from District 9 (I always forget his name, and frankly I’ll mis-spell it too), and surprisingly Quinton “Rampage Jackson was good!

Was it cheesy? Yes. Was it plausible? No. But that is how the television series was and in that respect, it did exactly what it was supposed to do. Along the lines of Speed Racer, which was simple, flat, an looked like someone threw up skittles on the film strip, though mimicked the cartoon perfectly. Well worth the watch, and without going to the panel I will just give it a solid 8 of 10 stars.

Toy Story 3

Part three of the Pixar/Disney collaboration phenomenon is probably exactly what you would expect, not as good as the first two but good enough to enjoy while the kids can be visually absorbed in anything so you can relax. And yes, that is what it is.

Bringing Buzz Lightyear and Woody back together to help the other toys come to the realization that their life with Andy may be coming to an end now that he is going to college. Of course there are some misinterpretations and confusion as to what their fate will actually be, but we’re not going to go into the plot because it’s a kids movie. It has just enough to keep the adults interested and that’s good enough.

Gina: It didn’t nearly compare to the first two.

Kevin: That’s expected.

Gina: It is good for the kids.

Kevin: As it should be.

Gina: And it concluded nicely.

Kevin: I was really hoping for the Titanic style ending when they were stuck drifting toward the incinerator and gave up the struggle, held hands, and accepted their end.

Gina: HORRIBLE! It’s a kid’s movie!

Kevin: I’m just saying it would have been a heart wrenching, tear jerking conclusion to the trilogy.

Get Him To The Greek

We’re not going to waste too much time on this spin off of a great movie (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) because honestly Get Him To The Greek was not nearly what it could have been. With a background of Russel Brand’s character, Aldous Snow, already established to a point, the dreary character development was overdone. We were brought into Snow’s life a bit more, but was it necessary for this movie with the direction I assume they were trying to go?

While Get Him To The Greek did deliver a fair amount of chuckles, it did not deliver the movie that the trailers depicted it to be. We are all fans of Russel Brand and were quite excited for this film; especially knowing Aldous Snow was getting his own feature length film. Too bad it was the Snow twelve years past his prime… that really was the plot of the film, a washed up Snow who just put out an album called African Child (just as bad in the movie as it sounds here, but in a good way).

The main point to think about is how often do spin-offs of television shows work? Yeah, that’s probably why you don’t see the same thing on the big screen, and probably why this shouldn’t have been attempted.

Gina: I wish Aldous Snow had stayed in Sarah Marshall.

The Karate Kid

Kid moves to China, finds an enemy after showing interest in a girl, gets beat up, and realizes facing his enemy is the only way to earn respect. That’s all you really need to know if you have been under a rock and never seen the original. Though it is another Karate Kid movie, not a remake.

Geared towards a younger audience than the Ralph Macchio / Pat Morita version, micro Will, Jaden Smith (and I call him that because it was astonishingly like watching mini-me on the screen; acting, manurisms, etc) does a good job in his role as Dre Parker from Detroit. His timing is good, he’s charismatic on screen, and it’s easy to tell that he will follow in his parents’ footsteps for quite awhile.

Kevin: I found it hilarious that Jaden crying on screen was so much more believable than Jackie Chan.

Gina: OK?!?

Pat Morita was sorely missed as the mentor, but Jackie Chan as Mr. Han was a better fill in than anyone else out there at the moment, and it was good to see Chan on the screen again. His martial arts stunts are always stunning. The rest of the cast was decent as well but the only other stand out was the “bad kid”, Cheng, and not for his acting but for his overall mean persona. He looked like a prick!

Gina: I wanted to slap that kid for being such an asshole, but I guess that was the point.

Now, other than the fighting scenes, there was a real lull throughout the film. You really feel the two and a half hour running time, and that is never a good thing.

Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time

The first thing you have to take into consideration before seeing Prince Of Persia is the history of movie adaptations of video games… quite frankly they suck! Do I even have to mention Street Fighter, Super Mario Bros, or the best of the worst Double Dragon?

Now with that we can get to the movie. The Sands Of Time follows a child street rat, Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal), that is adopted by the King for showing an act of bravery and in turn becomes a prince. I’m thinking Aladdin? However his brothers hold a little resentment towards him for not being part of the bloodline. When Persia attacks a peaceful city after word of an arms dealing to Persia’s enemy, Dastan comes across a mystical dagger unbeknownst to its true powers. He then teams up with the city’s Princess to help uncover the true nature of Persia’s attack.

Packed with action there were few slow moments, which worked in its favor because those were definitely the low points of the film. It was said that Gyllenhaal did the majority of his stunts, and while watching, it was quite impressive to know with the amount of Parkour scenes.

Gina: It was entertaining. I don’t understand why it is getting such a bad rap. There was enough action without being too graphic for kids. Coming from Disney it was better than Alice In Wonderland.

Kevin: Well that’s not saying much!