Beastly

First Twilight ruins vampires, then Red Riding Hood ruins a classic, and now Beastly tries to ruin another great aspect of American literature? What the hell is going on with movies these days? Can anyone come up with his or her own great story without remaking an old movie, book, or poem or dragging on a movie with multiple mediocre sequels? However, we will still give Beastly its fair shot.

Everyone knows this story. Not only was it a Disney movie, but there was a show in the 80’s starring Linda Hamilton (or Sarah Connor). Guy is an asshole, crazy woman turns him ugly, only true love will “cure” guy. It has probably inspired many more movies than you realize because of the basic human nature psychological study. The twist for this is Vanessa Hudgens, Mary-Kate Olsen, and the icing on the cake… NPH himself! (Neil Patrick Harris? Doogie Howser? In case you didn’t know.)

Kevin: NPH + Blind + Tudor = FUNNY

Gina: The banter with NPH was great. It really picked up the movie.

Kevin: It was too bad that everyone kept turning down the lead role. It would have been great to see the dialogue between NPH and Zac Efron, or NPH berating Rob Pattinson. Two hopefuls who said no… No idea why. ::sarcasm::

Gina: It wasn’t that bad.

There were a number of actors that denied the various roles in Beastly. So the lead went to Alex Pettyfer. “Who?” you ask. Oh sorry… I am Number Four. And boy did he branch out and show off his versatility for these roles! In one he was a High School kid who feels degraded because he is different, in the other, he is a High School kid who feels belittled because

Paul

Paul had the best opportunity to be the most horrific comedy of the year. Come on, Seth Rogen as a rude and vulgar alien prankster on the run from the Feds? For sure you have to be thinking this was one for the trash pile. However, you also have the comedy genius of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Is that enough to bring it above .500? Yes.

Pegg and Frost were cast and delivered their stellar performances but without their usual British humor (which is what makes them so funny) and somehow as the writers they worked it more towards the Seth Rogen style and came out as winners once again.

Kevin: This is the perfect role for Rogen because his voice doesn’t annoy you so much when it’s not coming from his face.

Chad: The Pegg and Frost comedy wasn’t really in the movie, but they were still funny.

Gina: I like when Paul was asking if the Pegg and Frost characters were gay, almost charades like.

There were also as many cameo’s in the movie as there were original jokes. All with just enough screen time to be funny with out wearing out their welcome. Bill Hader, Jane Lynch, David Koechner, Jeffery Tambor, Jason Bateman, Sigourney Weaver, Kristin Wiig… Just to name a few.

With what this could have been, we were pleasantly surprised with what we were given.

Chad: I got a Regal Rewards card…

Gina: Finally!

Kevin: Way to jump into 2007.

Chad: It took forever, like five weeks to get to me. I ordered it online.

Gina: Why didn’t you just get it at the theatre?

Kevin: That’s what I did. You get it right then and there.

Chad: But is yours all professional looking like this?

Kevin: Like this?

Chad: Damn it!

Chad: 3 of 5 beers

Gina: 6.5 of 10 stars

Kevin: 6.3 of 10 stars

Combined Rating: 6.27 of 10 stars

Battle: Los Angeles

There was a lot of curiosity with this movie due to the District 9/Cloverfield-esqe trailers. However, they were showing quite a lot of the “enemy” so the question to ask was whether there was anything left as a surprise when you would go to see it.

Battle: Los Angeles is pretty straightforward; a cut and dry shoot them before they shoot you gunner flick. It is basically the opposite plot of District 9, instead of landing on earth as an accident they are coming to inhabit earth, minus the political subtleties. Throw in the gimmicky (now-a-days) shaky cam, and you have the makings of a potential blockbuster shoot-em-up.

The problem is that a lot of the movies front running highlights are not new, and have actually been seen in other movies fairly recently. A few years ago the look and style seen in Battle: LA would have been fresh and new, but now it came across fairly flat. The dialogue was non-existent, and the acting was pretty bad considering the most of the requirement involved screaming the lines.

There were some pros as well, though. If you like first person shooter games, then this movie will be like playing a video game the entire time. There was lots of action… lots of action! And a couple suspenseful “in the line of fire” battle scenes. Some people will really like it.

Chad: The only thing that could have made it better would have been Will Smith punching an alien in the face… oh, and a different leading woman. Anna Lucia shoulda never left the island.