Monday, January 4, 2010

New On DVD: Paranormal Activity

For the first New On DVD review we’re looking at Paranormal Activity, and I mean “looking at” literally because there really wasn’t much there to watch. Gina never saw the film so you’re going to have to deal with the opinions of just Chad and I, and I really think we spared Gina two hours of her life that we can’t have back. I have been waiting to tell people how I feel about this movie after all the talk of this being the scariest movie EVER; that’s a big claim. Both Chad and I are fans of the horror genre so we were waiting for a long time to have it finally get a nation wide release.

THANK GOD we didn’t pay to see this and watched it online instead! I have no clue how so many movie critics praise this movie (and Blair Witch Project which created this film style) and feel that it was such a scary, suspenseful movie.

Chad: The Blair Witch novelty was completely obliterated by Cloverfield and watching Paranormal Activity was like watching The Flintstones.

Kevin: Yeah, a laugh track actually would have made this an entertaining movie!

First off, the main characters were very dull and uninteresting. They didn’t seem like normal people, instead, just really bad actors. The whole time is spent suffering through these atrocious “normal life” scenes waiting for the demons in the night, which unfortunately didn’t surface until three quarters of the way into the movie. What is given to quench our thirst in the mean time was some obscure noises and a slamming door, and when something does happen it’s out of view. While there was a couple of interesting camera effects near the end, the stand still camera angle became old way before that and what was supposed to be suspense was actually boredom.

This was probably one of the least scary, least suspenseful, and most unavailing movies of all time and there are not enough ways to put into words how pissed off I was that this was even thought of in the same conversation as some of the truly magnificent horror films of the past. I didn’t even bother to watch the DVD’s special features. The few fans there are of Blair Witch will enjoy this but our COMBINED rating…

1 of 10 stars

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