Wednesday, November 17, 2010

These are kind of old but we’ll throw them up with our quick reviews anyway; Since we are your primary source for a true, realistic review on the most recent movies. Now stick with it, because you might be thinking we’re crazy for some of these reviews, but rest assured you will eventually agree!

First, Piranha 3D. Yes, we gave it 8 of 10 stars… Believe it! It was goofy, it was gory, it had a lot of nudity, it had man-eating fish dismembering scantily clad spring breakers. And you know what? It compiled all of these elements to create a great horror / comedy. Then to top it off, it was in 3D!

Chad: 3D boobies! Classic!

Kevin: Was the 3D great? No. But I’ve seen much worse.

Next we have Scott Pilgrim VS. The World. This erupted onto the screen becoming a chaotic, hallucinogenic, plethoric mess of early nineties styled video game graphics-converted-to-movie effects, and for some reason it worked in it’s favor. This could have gone either way, but the geniuses directing it found a way to get Michael Cera just far enough out of his (so far) stereotyped character to utilize what he does bring to the screen AND what he could bring to the screen.

There were a few things that were done that made this not a flop… One, it didn’t fall into the trend of post production 3D in an embossing attempt to boost effects. Two, they took a six-part graphic novel and made ONE movie instead of trying to create a cult trilogy (quadrillogy, pentrillogy, hextrillogy, etc). And three, the let us as the movie watcher use our own judgment on whether the odd storyline features such as time space continuum traveling doors, killed bad guys turning into coins, and the nonchalant-ness of the bystanders throughout this journey were actually real to this world or Pilgrims imagination.

Kevin: I went into this expecting it to be horrible, and was more than pleasantly surprised. Good form!

And a change of pace to one of the most recent chick-flick, rom-com’s (or whatever you’d like to call them), Life As We Know It. Chad was of course absent from this as there was no possible way of even coaxing him into seeing it. As with almost every movie of this genre, if you think you will like it you most likely will. If you think you will hate it, you most likely will. If you think it has any chance of being more than a movie with a predictable story line, a few scenes of cuteness, and mediocre acting, you are horribly mistaken. With the exception of a couple funny scenes before the romantic plot was introduced, this was pretty much the garbage you would expect.

Gina: HEY! I thought it was really cute! And Josh Duhamel was good!

Kevin: I guess. Maybe I just think Katherine Heigl is a terrible actress and if she doesn’t completely destroy everything she is in, she comes too close to doing so.

And last we have Resident Evil: Afterlife, part four of the series. First off if you haven’t seen any of the other movies in the series, it doesn’t matter. The beginning has a detailed (or at least detailed enough) catch up dialogue to fill you in, and the ending leaves off right back where it started, theoretically. In case you can’t read between the lines, the movie was the biggest pile of garbage that has ever been reviewed on Two Guys And A Girl Review Movies, with the exception of Paranormal Activity.

The acting was terribly overdone, and if it was meant to be that way for effect… FAIL! There were scenes where you literally looked at your watch to time how long a machine gun could be kept on screen in continuous firing just to say you witnessed the record being broken (unfortunately). And without Milla Jovovich and Ali Larter to look at, you would have wondered why you even thought of going to see it.

So why you ask is the rating as high as it is? This was the best 3D in the history of movies! Even better than Avatar. Using James Cameron’s 3D technology, Afterlife dropped your jaw in awe from the opening scene and continued to push the boundaries of what you would want and expect from 3D technology. For this I can finally say to every director, producer, studio, or anyone else involved with the decision…


It’s not rocket science. Please, Please, Please! If you want this technology to become the standard, don’t insult our intelligence with the post-production crap! I will continue to beg you… Please do it right!

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